Pleas of a Stalker/ The Art of Being Single

Here are some poems that I should have never written...please don't judge. They are not all based on my life.

Oh leaves! leaves!
Why do you get in my way!?
What did you think?
These binoculars have xray?

Oh branch! branch!
Why do you leave me astray!?
I was not made for climbing!
Support me better I pray!

Oh Curtains! Curtains!
Why are you closed all day!?
Give her some sunshine!
And some fresh air ok?

Oh Cops! Cops!
Why do you put me away!?
I was just watching the birds!
Aot the girl as she lays


And this one...


I’d like to thank everybody for gathering ‘round
For letting me share an idea so profound
To the lost, the confused, the abandoned ones
I have come to you like the morning sun
So cut the chit chat, shooting the shit, and the mingle
This is the art of being single

Yes, the thought of having no one can seem very gloom
Your soul seems to cry, even in a crowd room
But whether you’re lacking popularity or high in stature
The key to needing no one is a good back scratcher
An extension of the arm, reaching places yours can’t
Less awkward than calling out for a buddy or an aunt

Don’t be yearning the conversation that couples are making
Just save strangers on face book and then say, “I’ve mistaken
You for someone else who goes by the same name,
But you are much better looking, deleting you would be a shame”
Then you start talking of things that are much more exciting
Than those couples over there, who are now probably fighting

On those silent nights, just pull out a good book
All the verbs and nouns will surely get you hooked
But if the words and paper makes you start to mourn
Nothing screams a good time like some hardcore porn
Then time will pass when hands can’t substitute
You just drive down 95th and pick up Gladys the prostitute

See it’s not that hard to live a life like this
Minus the constant screaming and staring into abyss
The world didn’t leave you behind, you left it
Now you are free, to do as you see fit!
Just remember that you are John and they all are Ringo
This is the art of being single