Friday, January 28, 2011

Way Before I Do

I dissect the bracelet around my right wrist, composed of red strings intertwined and braided into a strong stable design. I trace the weave, in and out, through and around, all the way to where the neat organized pattern ends and where few strings continue; 4 strings to be exact. You see, due to the erosion cause by the frictions of life, many strands dissolved with time and soon I’m sure the rest will follow.

She sits at the far edge of my bed with her bare back towards me; blending into all the items of my room as my focus holds heavy on this bracelet of mine. The silence plays tricks on me; no longer can I count the minutes gone by as I lose myself in these complicated thoughts; these intertwining red strings. I remember the day that I tied it on. A girl had just left me and I was feeling the void; I felt unwanted, unneeded and in essence; undeserving of anything.

I was told that the human mind understands more clearly the tangible elements of life so instead of looking in the mirror and telling myself that I was worth more than she’d ever know I made and wore this bracelet. I figured that every time I'd feel like I’m next to nothing these red strings around my wrist will remind me otherwise.

And now it dangles weakly like a man on the side of a bridge holding on for dear life with only a few fingers; begging for a little more connection. Soon he will fall and so will this bracelet and I will have to adjust to seeing nothing more than the bare skin of my right wrist; meaningless and simple.

A blurry figure crawls to me and my eyes detail her slowly until she’s recognized by my heart. Her hair soft, her eyes beautiful, “Come on babe. All your friends are waiting for you at the show.”

Maybe the bracelet isn’t dying at all. It just knows when it’s not needed anymore, way before I do.

Is This it?

Is this it?
That which I've never known?
Like advertisement of things
I've never owned?
And I speak in tones
Cause that's the difference, see
A form of deliverance
The true meaning in free

From the back seat of my truck
To the beginning of my luck
Drawing hearts on windows
That suddenly have fogged up
Until lips interrupt
As pleasant as it may be
There are times when speaking
And kissing will simultaneously

But which would I prefer?
I guess any and all
When it comes to the likes of her
And my heart concurs
Of intentions from this girl
Enough so to make me,
Four months ago, hurl
So hello world

Accept me again, I’m here
And oh dear, in fear
Of deception like veneers
Makes me grip on this wheel
Looking for exits to steer
But those eyes calm the soul
And if this ends then behold
Isn’t life but just these moments?
The rest is just dirt roads

Yeah, this is it!
It always was
The sweat and tears
And the occasional blood
And I owe the step forwards to all the duds
For all the bonds as thick as mud
So judge not and let grudges rot
Me, mistakes have taught
Higher than the things I’ve bought

And as it sits
The answer hits
Yeah this is it
Of course this is it

Monday, January 24, 2011

Strength Comes From Our Worst Enemy

Engage me in this engagement
As I once was
As a young man

Of hope and excitement
That nothing could harm us.
How could it possibly,
When we've barely begun?
As big plans are upon us
To be reckless as we can

And induce me before introducing
It all, pain and misery
For this bravado projected,
As they do with all youth,
Is often filtered with lens
To a size that precedes us
Superseding true fragility

Now indulge me with the bulge
Of potential under scrapes and scars
That catapults us further
Weak than self involved
Tell me that in darkest nights
We hear the beauty of the calm
That things still transpire
Without proof in visual degrees
And that my indictment by
My tainted self perception
Has been liberated

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Snap! Snap!

Snap! Snap!
A finger’s struggle
Laps! Laps!
Is the mind’s rebuttal
Tempo is tempo
Helps rhythms get through
So hardships and sacrifice
Should get me to you
Puff! Puff!
Smoke comes quick from those lips
You see a dance,
But that’s surely a slip
A drift, an aftermath
A residue, a slide
An escape from scenes
Of a sinister size
And as I lie, I lie
And dry those eyes
Repercussions is far
From these devious times
So nickel, dime
And change the foot tap
To a finger’s struggle
Snap! Snap!
Snap! Snap!

On This Pillow

Alas, here I lay
On this pillow,
With a scent
Uneventful, per se
My heart will go
to nostrils; vents

Which allows me sight
With my eyes sealed
To the dawn
Hoping that I might
Consciously steal
Images gone

Be still now my mind
Follies of love
Trips; entire
As they intertwine
What I think of,

I'll try to adapt
This spark; this snap
That I know
Until she comes back
For another nap
On this pillow

Friday, January 14, 2011

Didn't Expect That Did You?

“Expect the unexpected.” Many read this quote and reply, “yes, absolutely.” Because what better way to live than to always be prepared. In case there is a tornado or a nuclear bomb, we have bunkers filled with canned food. In case of dying and leaving our loved ones with no financial support, we have life insurance. And in case the blind date takes a turn for the worst, a friend is ready to call us with news of an “unexpected emergency” that requires our attention immediately. Wait. Did I contradict myself with that last example? Could it be that sometimes things happening unexpectedly could benefit us more than expecting it? And can I take it one step further and claim that sometimes the more we expect or want things to happen the chances of it occurring decreases? Expect the unexpected. Maybe not.

Two summers ago I woke up in the dead of night with a strange feeling I couldn’t shake; not because there was an unknown girl in a gargoyle costume sleeping next to me and not even because I was in a sailor moon costume myself. It was because I developed a strong craving for broccoli and cheese soup with four crackers to be eaten with a white plastic disposable spoon. The soup couldn’t be too hot so that I could take bite after bite without stopping from tongue burns. It would be perfect. I fell back asleep with plans to stop by a Quiznos at lunchtime to satisfy this strange need.

“I’m sorry sir,” said the employee, “but we ran out of soup for the week.”

“Well isn’t that convenient!” I was pissed. “And what are you staring at??”

“ummm, why are you in a sailor moon costume?”

I hightailed out of there, desperate like a crack head looking for his next fix. My next stop, Wendy’s.

“Hi,” there was no time to waste. I definitely started to feel an itch. “I need to know if you have the Broccoli and cheese –“

“Haha, yes sir, we definitely do!”

“Oh thank God! I’ll take one! Make that two!”

10 minutes later.

“There you are sir, two Broccoli and Cheese baked potates.”

“Thank you so mu--, wait, what!?

It wasn’t until 2 months later while ordering a buffalo chicken burger at Kelsey’s that this happened:

“And what would you like as one of your sides, sir? We have fries, garden salad, Caesar salad, broccoli cheese soup, mash potates”

“Excuse, what? Say that again.”

“Mash potatoes, sir.”

“No before that.”

“Caesar salad.”

“After that.”


“Before that.”


“After that.”


“and after that?”


“and after that?”


“I’ll take the soup!” One tear of happiness. Ok maybe two.

Let me tell you another true story. Once there was this guy named Murphy. He was in love with this girl who couldn’t even stand the sound of his name! She was a high-class hooker who only liked partying with the sheriffs and the bandits, separately of course. You see, she had a thing for people who associated with the law; upholding or breaking. Poor Murphy tried everything to get her attention; a dozen roses, poetry, and even a tattoo of her face on his chest. Still, she paid him no mind. Every night, Murphy sat in his home manifesting ways to steal her heart. Two years past with no success and Murphy had had enough.

“It’s time to change!” he announced to himself. “No longer shall I be this pathetic man that calls himself Murphy and no longer will I try to claim this sweet high-class hooker’s heart!”

So he literal changed his name and he became happy. He walked with a hop in his step and lived a very happy couple of month, forgetting what’s-her-name, until one night, things got even better. While walking down the street looking for a new hooker friend a lady approached him.

“Why aren’t you handsome!” She said, “I reckon I want to spend the rest of my life with you, stranger.”

It was her, his one and only love. The one he had totally forgot about.

“What’s your name?” She asked.

And he replied, “It use to be Murphy, long ago. Now it’s Murphy’s Law.”

“How is that even a name?”

He shows her his blockbuster card.

“So your full name is Murphy’s Law Thompson?”

“Don’t wear it out.”

“So you wanna party or what?”


The End.