Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Death Makes a Leap

My morning eye lids shuts by death
It breathes right next to me
And support, it seems, has up and left
Based on the absence words received

I inhale strong, drowsy with an overdose
Of urgency to build myself
Scratch my mark so to be tangible
And not as a cry for help

Push secret deep in pockets, steep
So that those I love won’t mourn
And trivial things that use to win
Brush aside as I am reborn

Mother please, amongst the disease
Think me not anything more than a son
For this bed may swallow all I am
But it can’t erase all that I’ve done

Another Chance for Better

The silhouette
Of a moment in time
A joyous embrace
Of unconditional proportion
Flashes in the image of you
As it once did for us

Within your arms lies a new beginning
In little hands and feet
A second chance for me
To appreciate your nature
That was forgotten in older things

I yearn to be that guidance
More than I once denied it
And in its little cries
I'll deliver understanding
And acceptance

It'll be better than all of us
See things we'll never know
Carry us in its eyes, it's lips
In blood and name
Mistakes and blames

It will be me
As I am you

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Answering Without Question

The cold doctor's office feels like a jail cell; a single-bed-like apparatus locates to the left of where I sit; a sink to my right. Turn the chair I'm on into a toilet and I'll be gripping my soap a little tighter if you pick up what I'm putting down. I'll give you a hint, it's not the soap. Did I mention that this room is cold as hell?

The doctor's footstep approaches the shut door to my cell. He pauses to look at my file before letting himself in.

"Ok buddy," he starts, "I got some good news. Item number one; your back is fine. Here's a letter for you to get an MRI on a bone scan for your leg instead. My prediction is it's your sciatic nerve, which can be treated much easier than a back injury. Item number two; the blood that was found on your little friend there is nothing sexually transmitted. It's just a tear; like if you got a paper cut on your finger. Now let me have a quick look and you're all done."

I undo my jeans in front of my audience of a doctor and the cold unforgiving furniture and expose the wound south of the border. "It's really cold in here huh?"

"um not really pal." he replies as he inspects.

Asshole. "Well I'm going to go to the gym after to pump some iron. Then I'm going hunting just for sport and if I have some time later I'm going to--, do you want to go to a warmer room while we do this? It’s just that--"

"Hey," he says softly taking my hand and looking me in the eye, which is quite uncomfortable when my pants are down. "I'm your doctor. You don't have to prove anything to be, ok? Now zip it up. We're done. Just no activities for a few weeks ok?"

"Thanks, doc." I said, and gangsta limped myself outta there.

Do you find yourself wasting your breathe trying to prove something to people who you never really had to answer to in the first place? Like an ex-girlfriend that could care less about you now or some gang members who never will? Or maybe it's a doctor that never really questioned you to begin with? Let's save this energy for something positive. Yeah?