I Fall to Pieces

“Not again, oh, this ain’t suppose to happen to me”

Ok let’s get this over with. My eyes open at the early hours of this morning, greeted by the bright screen of my cell phone, which for the time I stared, fought the darkness before dawn with great strength. I got a text. As soon as the darkness took over again, my eyes closed – I need my sleep. I have the worst memory when I want to but fortunately (or unfortunately) the image of her eyes is crystal clear. My heart stops beating to focus on this one image. I curse it, “You would kill us all if I don’t read this text!?” “Us all” refers to all my organs of course, cause my body is a team working together to keep me functional, according to my grade 3 health teacher Mrs. Carter. You see, involuntarily I was hanging by this text message as though nothing else mattered. Was it that big a deal if I read it then or, let see, when I’ve had my 8 hours of sleep?! Apparently it was a big deal. My brain experienced yet another mutiny. It shouted, “Go to bed!” like a summer camp supervisor who hated his job, and my right arm said “Fuck you!” like that one rebellious kid that the girls from the neighboring camp always wanted to party with; that the shy boy realizes he wanted to become. It reaches for my phone on my nightstand, fiddling with the buttons and just like the sunshine parting through the heavy clouds on the tragic of days, the light on my cell phone creeps through my eyelids, who, I might add was being very cooperative with my brain, until this point. Even my brain was getting a little nervous about calling my heart’s bluff. It still hadn’t taken a beat. Not even the incredible Timbaland could get a beat out of it at that point. My eyes scroll the text. My lips smile. My brain shakes its head in disapproval. My heart beats. This ain’t suppose to happen to me…