A Wild Idea

3 summers ago, Marvin, Roger and I had a great idea. It was the peak of summer and the sun was shining intensely. The affects were two folds as the heat wave enters through Marvin’s Suzuki Vitara SUV. We drove down the free way, aimlessly. We were all bored. We were all broke. And we were all hungry. The logical thing to do here would be to stop the SUV, collect whatever currency we had on us and decide on a restaurant that we would be able to split a meal. However, this is what we chose to do instead.

We rolled up all the windows while Marvin continued driving. We also cranked on the heater to full power, thus, setting the stage for the competition that we invented. Loser of this competition pays for everyone’s dinner. And by loser, I mean the person who cracks open the window first. 15 minutes and 3 sweaty boys later, Roger comes, literally, out through the window; refreshed and the loser.

We laughed about it at dinner and told a fourth friend about what we had done. “Can you imagine? Three sweat guys in an SUV driving down the freeway with the windows up in 30°C weather??” We were very entertained.

“That’s so stupid and irresponsible!” says the fourth friend, a.k.a party pooper. “What if one of you guys past out? Worse, what if Marvin pasted out and swerved into another vehicle??”

In retrospect, what we did was probably not as awesome as we had thought. “It seemed like a good idea at the time,” was our reply.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

I thought of all the sweat in that SUV in reflection on my current situation and the choices that were made. After she left me that day she stated, “I have a feeling that I’m going to regret what I’m doing right now.” Now there are many of you that will throw the chair you are sitting in out of rage. I don’t blame you. How could she give up something so good?? And for what?? To voluntarily experience a moment of loneliness?? Will she look back and say, “It seemed like a good idea at the time”? Either way, I got to respect that. Regardless of her regretting the decision or not she will grow because of it. I support anyone that chooses self-growth.

And for me? I had no idea that this was how things would end. My idea was that she was the one. Now, taking a drive in my truck on a hot day much like 3 summers ago I can’t help but see all that we would miss out on. Every song on the radio that I haven’t dedicated to her yet; all the stories on all the streets that I never thought of telling her; the vintage movie theatre that I promised I’d one day take her to; the restaurants that I/she HAD to try. The idea of us together was perfect, easy to imagine and even easier to conduct. But is it her that I miss so much or just the idea of her? I stare at the dusty stereo screen in my truck and remembered when she use to wipe it clean for me with her index finger every time she sat in the passenger seat. I pull out my new portable swiffer and give the screen a dusting. Maybe one day, all that I so desperately wanted would become just another wild idea.