I Have The World

The thing I’ll miss most about being heartbroken is the front row seat I got to watching amazing people trying to pick me back up. I remember zoning out at one of these viewings to reflect on how blessed I was; then again, the zoning out could have been due to the endless pints that I had consumed mixed with 3 hits of the strongest sticky-ickies I’ve ever inhaled. The echoes of the conversation that went on around me floated in and out of my head.

“No, no, no! The time it takes to get over someone is half the time of the relationship! So if you have been going out for a year, it’ll take you six months to move on.”

“Well that’s stupid. All he needs to do is have 10 loud cries, and he’ll be cured. Just let it out buddy.”

“haha, you’re all wrong! This is what needs to be done. One Hundred Shots. Doesn’t matter how days or months it may take you to drink it, once you swallow that 100th shot, you’ll forget all about the ex.”

The conversation goes on and on, theory after theory but I dwelled on that bit that I registered. “Forget all about the ex.” Is getting over someone really a matter of forgetting though? The intentions of my friends warm my heart but I did not mark dates on my calendar when I got home of when I’d forget this girl that once made me so happy, nor did I start count the number of shots I’d taken.

The morning after was horrid. The eating and puking was counterproductive and the headache was killing precious brain cells that I could not afford to lose. I laid lifeless on my bed, which hasn’t been comfortable since she left it, as memories tortured my dying soul. My phone rang.

“You need fresh air dude. Let’s go to a movie.”

I gave into my friends’ attempts to keep me from thinking of her after many aggressive phone calls later and found myself seated in a movie theatre. It was a comedy that was playing and within minute, I was laughing like a toddler that didn’t know any better. I came out of that theatre headache free, feeling a lot better than that morning.

Looking back on that day now, I realized that getting over someone does not lie in a request for amnesia; it’s in the distractions of life. Think about it. When she was around, she was all that I really looked forward to; her texts in the morning, her laughter in the evenings, her body at night. Nothing else really mattered as much. And then she was gone and everything else seemed so saturated in comparison. I don’t think I’ll ever truly forget about a girl like that and I don’t think I would ever want to. But the future has so much to offer that it’s silly to stay so stationary.

So I sit now, in front of the same group of friends, all of which see something different in me.

“Oh my god, has it been half the time of your relationship already?”

“No no, he cried his 10th cry!”

“Please! You had the 100th shot did you??”

“No,” I replied. “I have something better; the curiosity for tomorrow and the distractions of life.

“I have the anticipation of that next critically acclaimed novel that’s coming out. I have eagerness in witnessing the progression of modern medicine that will one day save millions from critical illnesses. I have faith in the next great invention that will propel mankind into the next stage of evolution. I have the hope for the mind that will produce the next great album that will spark something in myself. And I have my friends. For is it not the distractions of everyday life that keep us from that which pains us? New things to look forward to; better things to be excited for. There’s so much of that going around that you don’t have time to dwell on a relationship that was probably not meant to be anyways. I have a future to look forward to. I have the world.”

“…yeah, I’m pretty sure it was that 100th shot buddy.”