Bam! I Looked, She Punched.

Ever play the hand-loop-punching game? The loop is made with your thumb and index finger, much like the “okay” hand gesture. The aim of the game is to get your opponent to make eye contact with the loop. If successful you get to punch them. But the loop has to be located below the waist. Why below the waist? This is so that you can't just wave the loop in front of someone's face and claim a punch. Now this game can last as long as it wants; the longer, the more interesting because you can sit and wait until your opponent’s memory fails and they let down their guard. This, my friends, is the time to strike. The game requires a high degree of creativity as well. “Hey, look down!” can only work so many times. You have to be tricky. For example, “Does this look infected?” Bam! They look, you punch. “Hey I got something for you. It’s in my pocket.” You dig in your pocket and the suspense builds. Their eyes glued to the area below your waist and then you pull out the loop. Bam! They look, you punch. Get the point?

I think I’m in the middle of this game right now, with a few differences of course. My opponent is my own mind, the loop is my thoughts of my ex, and the punching is still in many respects the punching. You follow? No? Here are some examples. I’m at my office doing office stuff, diligently concentrating on the task at hand when, suddenly, my mind trails. I reminisce the time when I phoned her while on the road and told her to pull over, lying about how I forgot something in her car. I met her at a parking lot, opened the passenger door and planted the biggest kiss on her. That was the day that I decided that I was going for it. Bam! I looked, she punched. Right in the gut too.

More? I was in a meeting with some of the operation managers, staring at a power point accompanied by a monotone voiced presenter when I looked down and saw her and I making love in the back seat of her car in a dark dusty parking lot, windows steamy and all. Bam! I looked, she punched. Right in the heart too.

Again? I’m sitting in a movie theatre and her smile crosses my mind. Bam! A shot to my kidneys.

I was skipping down the street on a hot summer day singing a song I made up on the spot that goes something like this, “I love my life, I love my life, I love my l—” when suddenly her laughter echoes through my ears. Bam! Right in the balls.

I’m so bruised right now. Great game huh?