Living Unnoticed - The Tokyo Express Affair

The racket of hundreds of people bounce off the glossy floors of one food court in the largest mall in North America, West Edmonton Mall; home to a skating rink, an indoor theme park, a water park, a Cineplex Odeon movie theater with a fire breathing dragon, more than 800 stores, two food courts, and one heinous bitch. Oh I'm not talking about some side show attraction featuring a crazy dog. I'm referring to an older Chinese lady working at the Tokyo Express. With eyes that will pierce through the thickest crowd, her goal in life is to deliver the most hostile customer service you'll ever experience. I once witness her throwing soya sauce packets at a poor defenseless girl like knives because she had asked the psycho bitch for an extra one. It plays in my mind, always, in slow motion, her laughter chopped and screwed like some dirty south production. And I guarantee that if you had recorded the audio to that event and played it backwards, you'd hear the Chinese lady saying something like, "I like to kick cute puppies in the tummy and make out with the Devil!" That was the first time I laid eyes on pure evil.



My second encounter with her was of a more direct kind similar to being raped and I was the victim. Recently coming out of a bad breakup, vulnerable me stepped up to the Tokyo Express counter with a Teriyaki Chicken Bowl on my mind.

"What?" she shrieked in her broken English.

I played it like a brave soldier on the front lines, "uhhhhhh ummmmm k...k....can I get a chhchchchicken bo--"

"We out of chicken!"

I flinched, "umm how about some California rolls?"

"We out"

"beef bo---"

"Out!"

"tempura?"

"Hey stupid! I said we don't have anything but Udon Noodle! It's five minutes until close, so hurry up!"

"Ummm I'm pretty sure you just said no chicken."

"Maybe learn to speaka English ok?? I say we out of everything but Udon Noodle! Understand?" She mocked me! I can hear onlookers, who had began to crowd, chuckling at the fact that a ill grammared old lady was telling a guy half her age to learn English. I was humiliated! My reputation destroyed! My plans of becoming mayor of Edmonton ruined by this grumpy old lady!

I was flustered and didn't know what to do. I didn't want Udon Noodles! I wanted my dignity back; my sense of respect; my backbone. So I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and did what any man in my position would do.

"You're a bitch!" I screamed before storming off. The crowd gasp; the bitch screams back something threatening in Chinese; one tear dropped from my eye. I boycotted that Tokyo Express ever since.

Like suppressed memories, these scenarios flood back over me every time I enter this food court, motivating me to walk by that very spot hoping that she'd be working so that I can give her a look dirtier than senior men around a gorgeous nurse, except dirtier and meaner! I called it The Stink Eye Walk By. Time and time again I would grind my teeth at her, mouthing phrases like "I'ma kill your husband you little punk!" or "I'm calling immigrations to get your ass deported motherfucker!" or "When I'm done with you, you'd wish you didn't escape the railroad business you grumpy ass chink!" That one is my favorite. I'm not going to lie, I should probably send her co-workers some Edible Arrangements to thank them for holding her back because I'm not sure what I would do if she made it all the way over that counter.

I think I'm going to give her the middle finger this time and say something like "I'ma marry your granddaughter then have you put in a senior home" I thought as I approached the battle zone. Kids chased each other laughing, boys kissing their girlfriends, friends laughing in conversation. These things didn't even register in my mind. For in that moment, it was just her and I. I wait for her eye contact. There it is. Go! Go! Go! But as my wrist flipped the bird something strange happened....something almost heart breaking. She turns away. No anger. No attitude. No reactions at all. She was done with me. Like a guy watching that beautiful girl he just kissed run back to her boyfriend, I had been forgotten.