According to Me

Orianthi is such a badass girl on the guitar, according to me. For those of you that don’t know her, she’s most famous for her employment as lead guitarist for Michael Jackson’s This is it tour. Her signature move consist of walking to the forefront of the stage where a big fan from under the floor pushes her long blonde hair every which way while she performs a ridiculous electric solo. And by fan, I mean one of those machines with propellers that spin and blows air. Anyways,after Michael Jackson’s demise which obviously lead to the cancellation of the tour, Orianthi released a solo album mixing today’s poppy sounds with some near illegal guitar licks, which by the way are all played by her. Beautiful and talented but unfortunately she chose to release a song called “According to You” as her first single. Don’t get me wrong, the song is catchy and is also getting a lot of radio play but there’s sadness to it that I can’t stand. It reflects our society today and I for one am not going to take it!

The theme of this song is comparing what her dead beat boyfriend thinks of her as oppose to how she is seen through the eyes of a new love interest. It’s a fun tug-a-war scenario that picks all the negative qualities that her boring companion possess in contrast to the wonderful man that Orianthi is totally crushin’ on (I’m assumin’ he fine too. Mmhmm). So it is quite suiting that each sentence of the song, for the most part, starts with her singing “According to you," blah blah blah and then “According to him,” blah blah blah. To paraphrase, she’s stating that “you suck, he’s better.”

Here’s the sad part. Never once does she sing, “According to me.” Me, as in her. Because it’s not about what other think of you as much as it is how to perceive yourself girlfriend. Sure Derek over there may think you’re stupid, useless and can’t do anything right. And sure Julio over here thinks you’re funny, irresistible and everything he ever wanted. But what do you think, Orianthi? I ain’t no Doctor Phil or nothing, but I wanna know how you feelin’. What do you see when you look in the mirror? I believe her first single should have gone a little something like this.

“Hey! Hey! Look at me! I’m hot and I’m talented! Yeah yeah yeah! *guitar solo* If you don’t like me, go eat a dick! Westside! *guitar solo*”

Self perception is such an important part of growing as a human being. A lot of individuals, if not all, have had that “According to you” tune stuck in their head from time to time, which is not a bad thing so long as they let their own opinions supersede all others. So, Orianthi, let’s start with the (wo)man in the mirror. Sham-on! Naw’I’m’sayin’ Naw’I’m’sayin’? But then again, that’s according to me.