My Offical End of Summer Blog

The yellow leaves crunching on the paved sidewalk give me that monster-like quality as I destroy them as if they were buildings to a densely populated city. I catch the sun light through the branches and realized without a doubt that fall had arrived. I inhale the smell of new through my nose; the air a little more chill; my heart a little more whole and I knew this day would come. There are many inevitable moments in this unpredictable life and here I stand in one. Indeed the leaves will fall; as surely as it is not a good idea to play leap frog with a unicorn; as surely as it is for the mucho-est of men to look like nothing more than retarded when rollerblading; and as surely as the fact that nothing is forever. Although for most of that list, it is a matter of opinion, the final holds true every time. As pessimistic as it sounds, one can also look to it as indifferent or even uplifting. Here are some examples.



A few months ago, I thought it was hilarious to imitate the tune that plays on the Price is Right when the contestant fails on their guess. You know, the one that sounds like a sad little tuba that ends up falling down the stairs. If you don’t know, I attached a youtube video of that very sound. Oh did I have fun. Possibly the time of my life. Picture me walking down the office hallway at work when sweet little Gillian comes over with her hot coffee, happy to be starting off the day with the sun shining. Suddenly, her 3 inch heels slips from under her causing her knees to give way resulting in Gillian, flat on her face with hot coffee everywhere, including her new white blouse. Holly Golightly would have shouted “timber!” but not me. I kneeled down to Gillian and look into her embarrassed and shaken eyes and I say * press play on the youtube video *. Classic right? I know! Or how about when I was walking home and a single mother of 3 found a parking ticket on her car windshield? * press play on the youtube video *. I would have even said it when Misty, my friend’s girlfriend came over crying and screaming, “Oh my god, Rich Cronin from Lyte Funky Ones died today of Lukemia!” but nothing last forever. And for those of you who pressed play on the youtube video after reading that, shame on you. Just joking. * High five *

Recently, I’ve been finding it very satisfying to call people assholes through my teeth; under my breath as they are walking away from me, almost loud enough for them to hear. Sure, it would be equally, if not more, satisfying to say it in front of their face. But for this moment, I’ma go with the under my breath technique. Like Carl, the guy that took my coffee order at Second Cup yesterday morning.

“Yes?”

“Good morning Carl, can I get a black coffee please. Oh and the bagel in the middle.”

“Sigh. Which bagel? They are all in the middle, relatively.”

“Oh. This one,” I pointed.

“God! Can you just describe it? Your finger is all crooked!”

“uh, sure, the one that looks like a donut.” And then, I turn my head about 82…no no, 84 degrees to my right and 75 degrees downward and let it out, “ASSHOLE!”

“Hey, I heard that! You’ve been doing that to me all week buddy. When are you going to give it a rest and get a life??”

“Oh, don’t worry. Nothing is forever Carl.” And then, I turn my head about 82…no, 84 degrees to my right and 75 degrees downward and let it out, “ASSHOLE!”

So you see, nothing is forever. Some things will linger longer than others. But rest assure things will change. Yeah, maybe great relationships will end and maybe that successful up and coming intern will make one mistake and plummet down the hierarchy but maybe not. Cause maybe things get better. The leaves fall differently in the eyes of many who walk this sidewalk with me. One lady can’t seem to stop the leaves from falling right into her mouth, gagging and spitting as frequent as a crack head scratches. Another lady can’t seem to keep from shivering at the climate change, wrapping herself in scarves and leg warmers. Me? All I see is a gorgeous field of yellow beyond recreation. Summer is gone, yes. But let’s take this as an opportunity for new perspectives. Nothing is forever. Good times will get better and then it might go away, but you know what? Pain isn’t forever either. Take care.