Way Before I Do

I dissect the bracelet around my right wrist, composed of red strings intertwined and braided into a strong stable design. I trace the weave, in and out, through and around, all the way to where the neat organized pattern ends and where few strings continue; 4 strings to be exact. You see, due to the erosion cause by the frictions of life, many strands dissolved with time and soon I’m sure the rest will follow.

She sits at the far edge of my bed with her bare back towards me; blending into all the items of my room as my focus holds heavy on this bracelet of mine. The silence plays tricks on me; no longer can I count the minutes gone by as I lose myself in these complicated thoughts; these intertwining red strings. I remember the day that I tied it on. A girl had just left me and I was feeling the void; I felt unwanted, unneeded and in essence; undeserving of anything.

I was told that the human mind understands more clearly the tangible elements of life so instead of looking in the mirror and telling myself that I was worth more than she’d ever know I made and wore this bracelet. I figured that every time I'd feel like I’m next to nothing these red strings around my wrist will remind me otherwise.

And now it dangles weakly like a man on the side of a bridge holding on for dear life with only a few fingers; begging for a little more connection. Soon he will fall and so will this bracelet and I will have to adjust to seeing nothing more than the bare skin of my right wrist; meaningless and simple.

A blurry figure crawls to me and my eyes detail her slowly until she’s recognized by my heart. Her hair soft, her eyes beautiful, “Come on babe. All your friends are waiting for you at the show.”

Maybe the bracelet isn’t dying at all. It just knows when it’s not needed anymore, way before I do.